Archive: Profiles in Confusion celebrate differently-abled thinkers, and you either find them puzzling or absurdly funny. (There are very few agnostics when it comes to my work.) These strips, arranged by academic year as they appeared in the Indiana Daily Student, are among my favorites. (Arranged here in reverse chronological order.)
PROFILES IN CONFUSION, VOL 4
Evolution dictates that you should walk upright. Evolution dictates that you should walk straight into my arms, you crazy, beautiful woman. What we have together is not an aberration of Natural Selection. It’s golden, Samantha. We’re golden.
PROFILES IN CONFUSION, VOL 3
Mercy, woman! We’re gonna pimp your funk! We’re gonna get your Botox on and shake it on down! Mercy on a world with such funk in it! Mercy!
PROFILES IN CONFUSION, VOL 2
Wha’cha doin’ walkin’ ‘round wid all dem keys for? You ain’t got no job. Why you got all dem keys for if you ain’t got no job? You ain’t up ta nuttin’ but no good wid dem keys! You all actin’ like Mr. Big Shot wid dem keys! Like you a Key Master or som’um!
PROFILES IN CONFUSION, VOL 1
What happened to the dinosaurs? Why haven’t we built a time machine to solve this riddle yet? Who's in charge of this dog and pony show, anyway? What bonehead is dropping the ball here? This burns me up! I’m not waving this gun around because it matches the color of the veins in my neck! I want some damn answers!
PROFILES IN CONFUSION, BEST OF THE REST
I want to learn to fly an airplane, but not how to land. No landing—just taking off. Is there some school where I can do that? Someplace where I don’t have to pay out-of-state tuition? I can drive there, but I only know how to drive a car and not stop it. I went to school for that last year.
The Road to Nirvana is Paved with Karaoke: Schopenhauer said that every generation believes it is the salt and summit toward which humanity has striven. The case is always strong, but clearly wrong if the next generation does not concur. Where seizing the reins of power (as well as the modes of production), we have not so much liberated the best and brightest among us as have been swallowed up by manifold vanity projects of plebeians. The New World Order of culture is Karaoke Culture; and where culture is left to its consumer to invent, one gets exactly the culture one deserves.
About Garage Band and Logic: For anyone who thinks a computer writes this music, let me assure you that, the odd loop notwithstanding, all compositions presented here are mine. As for the loops, I sometimes use percussion loops, and just as often modify them. The only thing more difficult than writing this music is mixing it, so these pieces are frequently tinkered with and fine-tuned.
These pages contain approximately eighty original works for various ensembles, with pop, rock, jazz and classical stylings. The above link presents the music in reverse chronological order from 2013 to 2009, while the below links are specific by year. Last Update: 9/01/13
2 0 0 9 Pages featuring enthusiastic early works.
2 0 1 0 Pages concluding a prolific period.
2 0 1 1 - 2 0 1 3 Pages comprising recent works.
Pirate Ship Aesthetics: I do not have the resources, patience, or interest to make polished animation. God created metaphysics to get around the obvious, so I will leave the exhaustive work of constructing animated sequences that move objects conventionally from here to there to others while I concentrate on non sequiturs. Last Update: 5/05/13
Paintings and Works on Paper: I was fortunate to be born into an age of improbable monsters in the 60s, where imagination was required to make up for the shortcomings of the special effects craft. From the black and white creature features I watched on television, to the handfuls of plastic monsters my uncle, who worked at a toy plant in Chicago, gave me on his visits in the summer, it was a age in need of new archetypes. When I discovered Ed “Big Daddy” Roth’s hot rod monster bubblegum cards in the mid-60s, I realized I could create my own monsters as works of art.
Modernist Aesthetic: I admittedly credit myself with an immodest degree of uniqueness, which stems from my formative exposure to and adaptation of Modernism. As a creature of this Twentieth century aesthetic, I spent a portion of my formative youth rebelling against the ruinous tyranny Modernism became through art academia in the Eighties. By the time we get to Post-Modernism, and the glib politics of “identity” used to justify the lamest banality imaginable, those distant European pioneers, who inspired me to apply my imagination first and foremost, were long dead and relegated to the pages of art survey books.
Modernism is ended in its best sense, and what we are left with are self-aware parodies of its once revolutionary ideas (as found in anachronistic New York galleries). Today we live in an era of post-ism-ism, where everything is allowed. There are many more gifted artists than in times past, especially where artists achieve unparalleled levels of craftsmanship in furthering styles originated in other epochs. Unfortunately, this unprecedented commitment to doing-one-better has given us a kind of replicable scientific algorithm. Momentarily, few are interested in seeing past this seductive plateau. Last Update: 1/12/14
Paintings: “He preferred working with small brushes, and began his canvases with opaque colors before finishing with scumblings and glazes. An undiluted refined linseed oil medium was employed to facilitate the brushwork and add depth and luster to the colors, and later a removable varnish was applied to rewet darker shades and even out the reflective sheen of the paint skin. On average it took him several months to complete one painting, and given the slowdown in his work schedule in recent years he seldom produced more than two or three paintings a year.” ~from Chapter Five, Icarus Transfigured
Works on Paper: “With regard to his mature style, Michael liked painting unconventional monsters. These monsters were a modern updating of the composite portraits created by the Sixteenth Century Italian painter, Giuseppe Arcimboldo. Arcimboldo portrayed his sitters as being made out of peculiar objects like vegetables, books, flowers, or fish. By comparison, the skins of Michael’s monsters were made out of small toys, flattened egg cartons, crushed plastic bottles, or anything with a descriptive surface. Like another of his favorite painters, Ivan Albright, he was most attracted to minute detail, and given his organic, spontaneous way of working, the final product was more bricolage than “big picture”. This sensibility carried over from boyhood, where early drawings of monsters evolved in the manner of his elaborate maps of imaginary cities: As the creations grew, additional sheets of paper were taped on.” ~from Chapter Five, Icarus Transfigured
Odds and Ends: This is small sampling of preliminaries and details from various projects, including illustration work and commissions.
Learning Curves: I am an autistic first, and an artist second—at least as it applies to my process. When I turn to a new art form, I display creative ability in it initially, and only later struggle with the difficulties of learning the fine points of its craft.
One man’s reinvention of the comic strip: Here lies the remains of an unlovable cat (minus shoebox).
From 1989: I would describe my work in this medium as a combination of kitsch and haiku, where the resulting absurdity resonates like a subterranean echo. This pages includes works from my unpublished Epic Dermis series.
From 1992-2011:The majority of these Flash animations are derived from early comics, as well as a selection of Profiles in Confusion strips. Other early attempts at animation are also here, including a few animated gifs.
A Novel / Memoir in Late-Diagnosed Asperger’s Syndrome: Site for my online book, as well as other writings, including notes for God, Science, and The Unknowable Thing-in-Itself.
Shop At Cafe Press: Support Blender Kitty and its creator.
Contact me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Artist Statement: Autism is the lens through which I view not only my creative life but also the world. While most professional artists seek a style, a community, or a livelihood with their craft, my focus revolves around a hermetic thought process that first reverse engineers creative ventures that interest me, and then applies what I've learned to create original work. On mastering one craft, I move onto the next, connecting dots between disciplines as I amass a database of insight into how the artistic mind works.
Copyright ©2014 michael l. teague all rights reserved